Refuse to Lose

Lessons in how to successfully play the game of life

Become Your Own Hero

Hi I’m Sonia Williams, author of Refuse to Lose, Lessons in how to successfully play the game of life. Welcome to my blog. I want to kick start these entries with a brief discussion on why I wrote my book. At the heart of why I wrote is a desire to demonstrate we all face struggles, we are all challenged by the indiscriminate bullshit life throws our way, some of it deserved some not. As the years have rolled on in my own life, I have noticed a distinct softening in the resolve of society. I could certainly write another book on why I think this is, but that’s not the purpose here. I want to explain, and show through my own lived experiences how you can overcome challenges, adversity, how with the right mindset you can accomplish the realistic expectations that you have set for yourself. How you can become your own hero.

Refuse to Lose details a series of events that have occurred over the course of my life, starting with the failings of my father, my parents toxic relationship, the fight to get to university and establish a career rising out of poverty, sexual assault, affairs, betrayal, a marriage break up, taking the entrepreneurial leap into starting up my own business, failing during the GFC, struggling to fall pregnant, battling endometriosis over 27 surgical procedures resulting in a complete hysterectomy, spinal surgery that lead to the fusion of my spine, battling menopause, addiction to pharmaceutical pain killers, the list is long as is my experience in fortifying my mindset to successfully overcome these land mines. Has it been easy, fuck no! My life resembles a roll coaster ride of highs and lows. The one overarching lesson I have learnt and continue to reinforce in my day to day life Refuse to Lose. If I want to rise above, fulfil the expectations I have for myself, I have one choice, Refuse to Lose. It’s that simple.

Conditioning my mindset to never give in, never give up is an ongoing lifelong task. It requires constant reinforcement. You don’t wake up one morning, to discover overnight you have morphed into a superhuman being, with a fortified mindset for crushing goals. Refusing to lose, takes bravery, determination and commitment. When you take on the attitude of “Refuse to lose”, you take on your mindset. Mastering your mindset is the most difficult task you will ever undertake. As I discuss in my book, we have two internal voices. There is the voice of reason, and then there is the other one. The other internal voice is much like that dooms dayer, party pooper who turns up uninvited, they have nothing to contribute other than the black cloud of negative doom and gloom that follows them.

From a very young age, I quickly realized as the chief, captain of my own ship, the control and management of this unruly critic, the negative internal voice would become my life’s work. It takes an incredible amount of discipline and control to govern the negative chatter that spews from this voice, like verbal diarrhea. If allowed to slip out of control, that negative internal critic will happily stage a coup. You may not even see it coming since the voice operates largely incognito. In a matter of several seamless moves, that inner voice can take over your thought process, hijack your reasoning, rational and logic. Before you know it, it will have mastered your mind leaving you feeling like nothing more than an empty shell. This is why engaging in combat with your internal critic is a daily battle, for which you must adopt the philosophy “Refuse to Lose”.

Refuse to Lose is not a self-help book, it is written based on experiences that I hope to share so you may learn how I managed to master my mindset in order to enjoy the amazing life I have created for myself.

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