Refuse to Lose

Lessons in how to successfully play the game of life

The Comparison Trap

Do you spend your time, wondering what would it be like to be someone who is famous, the person who has so much money, you don’t have to worry about the bills anymore, or be the stunning creature who turn heads when they walk into a room, the person who has their choice of amazing designer clothes, or maybe you might want to be the person who lives in that gorgeous designer home, in an affluent suburb, where you can drive your fast and expensive car through the leafy green streets, or maybe you imagine being that person with a massive following on some social media platform? We look at people who have these things and toggle between idolizing them, aspiring to be them or despising them. These mother fuckers appear to have it all meanwhile you feel like your ship has sailed, leaving you standing on the dock. But don’t take the bait my friends.  You have to learn to shut that shit down. Comparing what you have, and what you wished you had to those who have it, will suck the life out of what little self-esteem you have, quicker than a thief in the night.

We compare our behind the scenes with everyone’s else’s highlight reel, causing us to question our accomplishments, appearance, personality traits, ultimately our self, who the fuck are we? Comparison is unavoidable, its human nature to compare ourselves to each other, but its what you do with those feelings that really matter. For some, the overwhelming feeling of ‘I’m Not good Enough”, takes over their mind and thoughts become like a cancer, they infiltrate and kills off self-esteem, confidence, self-worth and self-belief.

The number one rule in the game of life, never, ever allow someone or something to erode your self-esteem. Cos here’s what happens when your tank of self-esteem runs low, victim mentality, you choose to believe things like “I’m not lucky”, “I don’t deserve”, “I am inferior” you begin to believe you’re some kind of victim, a victim of life, circumstances, the actions of others, it’s always someone else’s fault, never yours. Your life becomes a birds nest of negative, ugly emotions, your trapped in the comparison trap, and right there is when you knowingly or subconsciously make the choice, to stop living. But here’s the thing, make no mistake, you have a choice. Sure it’s natural to compare, we all do it, but instead of allowing your mind to think you’re not good enough, take that negative emotion, you’re not good enough and use it, turn it into motivation use it as inspiration. If you think you’re not good enough then do something about it, its choice. The ball is in your court, don’t like what you see in the mirror, then do something about it, don’t like your job, your profession, then change careers, get a new job, not happy with your lover, end the relationship go find the love of your life,  it’s all up to you, you have a choice, stop wasting time on excuses, planning the blame game, because pity parties are for one.  Get clear on what you want from life, and go after it, when you know who you are and what you want from life, you begin to build a stronger sense of confidence and self-worth. It’s about being real with yourself. You deserve to be happy, and you can be happy, it all starts by making the choice. Refuse to loose.

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